IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some think that governments should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to eat healthier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#think #governments #tax #food #people
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Eating habit has left too much impact on human life. That made many think about a solution. People think that a high rate of tax on junk
food
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 can be a solution to the issue. I believe forcing a high rate of
taxes
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 cannot change any ones eating habits.
Firstly
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, high
rates
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 of
taxes
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 will increase the price of fast
food
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, which divert to having healthy
food
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, in solving many health issues. In a country like Australia, the
government
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 charges high
rates
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 of
taxes
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 on sugar base drinks in comparison to other drinks.
In addition
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, the revised
rates
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 allow any
government
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 to have more income. That can be useful for the development of the country like, new roads and better medical and health services.
On the other hand
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, the implementation of high
taxes
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 is going to affect pocket the middle class or the poor class. The increased price of fast
food
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 will make divert them towards cheap and unhealthier
food
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 stores.
While
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 the riches class of society will be unbothered by a hike of
food
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.
In addition
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, an increment in street foods will definitely force all
food
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 industries to change the
rates
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. It will be hard for many
food
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 chains to survive with the hike. As per a survey, recently almost 20% of
food
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 restaurants have winded up their business.
This
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 caused a 1% of downfall in the income of the
government
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. In conclusion, implementing
taxes
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 on unhealthy
food
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 will distract many towards nutritious
food
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 and will offer to have extra income for the
government
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. In most cases hike in convenience
food
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 will affect both the middle and poor classes and force owners to shuts down their businesses. In my opinion, extra
taxes
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 will not make much impact on the lifestyle of many in society.
Submitted by jaimini2000 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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