In the future, people may no longer be able to pay things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Many of the countries have already been switched to digital currencies and in my opinion, it will be universal soon.
Nevertheless
, some people will be unhappy about
this
development and the reasons are explained below. First of all, using debit cards or mobile phones has been a popular choice in many places. Because it is so convenient, the young generation has wholeheartedly welcomed the new trend in business. They would carry only a small amount of money for emergencies and prefer to do virtual payments.
For instance
, When digital wallet companies were established in India
such
as Paytm, youths poured in subscribing to it. So one can say that it will be the means of transaction in the future.
Furthermore
, Many businesses in developed countries prefer to utilize card payments over notes since it prevents theft from the tills and
also
makes it easy to pay taxes. In Japan, many supermarkets don't even allow their staff to touch cash .
Hence
one can say that electronic money cards will rule the world soon. I believe that
this
trend will continue in the near future.
However
, Some older generations will find it difficult to learn
this
new method of purchase and they will not be happy to adopt cashless options.
Moreover
, some fraudsters will take advantage of the situation and lure them to steal money from their accounts online. So elderly people will not accept
this
method of business.
To conclude
, Folks may no longer be able to pay with paper currencies in the shops ,
instead
, they have to use cards or their phones to pay.
Although
men and women in their sunset years may not like
this
trend, it will be the future payment method.
Submitted by krishnabalu1984 on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a response to the prompt, it can be improved by defining terms like 'digital currencies' and explaining the technology behind card or phone payments.
task achievement
Some points, like the convenience for the young generation and the preference of businesses, could be expanded with more detailed examples or statistics.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas more smoothly. Use cohesive devices like 'moreover,' 'in addition,' and 'however' to better connect sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through your points logically. For example, start paragraphs with sentences like: 'One reason for the shift to cashless payments is...'
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The argument is well-structured with separate paragraphs addressing different aspects of the prompt.
task achievement
Relevant examples, like the situation in India and Japan, add depth to the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cashless society
  • digital payment systems
  • financial institutions
  • transparency
  • illegal activities
  • privacy reasons
  • digital trace
  • technologically challenged
  • cybersecurity threats
  • technical failures
  • cultural attachments
  • resistant to change
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