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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the proporsional of Energy produced from different sources in a country between 1985 and 2003

The chart below shows the proporsional of Energy produced from different sources in a country between 1985 and 2003
#energy #sources #country
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This
Linking Words
 chart illustrates
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how a country produces
energy
Use synonyms
 by using different sources between 1985 and 2003. There are total
6
Change preposition
of 6
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types of sources that have been used to produce
energies
Fix the agreement mistake
energy
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. In 1985, natural gas was only used by 13% to
manufacture
Change the verb form
manufacturing
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energy
Use synonyms
 but, by 2003, it had increased more than 10% and that would be 23%. Coal
as
Correct word choice
apply
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to produce
energy
Use synonyms
 was only used
by
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apply
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8% but it slowly grew in 2003 and the total amount of
energy
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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used is 13%. Both in 1985 and 2003, hydrogen is used at 4% to manufacture the gas. 22% of nuclear
energy
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 is used in 1985 but, it has been decreased to 5% in 2003 by 17%. The largest
energy
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 that was manufactured is oil by 52% in 1985. In 2003, oil
energy
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 has been significantly declined to 39%. Only 1% of other renewable
energy
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 was used
nut
Correct your spelling
but
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 it
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased in 2003, by 4%. In conclusion, only
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
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 of hydrogen
energy
Use synonyms
 remained
at
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apply
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constant and
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
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other
Change preposition
of other
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 energies were used
according to
Linking Words
 the requirements.
Submitted by kritikasrivastavabest on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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