We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is true that many
people
living under
living
Correct article usage
a living
show examples
standard
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
our help worldwide nowadays. Some
people
believe that we had better
to
Remove the marker
apply
show examples
give a hand to our nearby communities and own country rather than taking care of someone residing in
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another country
show examples
countries
. In my opinion, I think we should take care of everyone if we can give
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
support
regardless of their location. Needless to say, it is very seldom to witness anyone ignore the
people
that needed
support
from neighbouring to other provinces' fellowship. Whenever
people
notice
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any poorer
people
suffering from their survival domestically,
for example
, they definitely raise the charity fund and share
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
needed
Replace the word
needy
show examples
people
for their
recover
Replace the word
recovery
show examples
. Many poor severe patients have recovered and returned to their daily life thanks to
such
kind of
support
. The more we give out, the more
people
are being helped. It is even more better if we can help someone from
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
far distant location or even from different geography,
particullarly
Correct your spelling
particularly
those developed
countries
supporting those developing
countries
. In the modern days, we have seen a lot of
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
from the USA or
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
or Europe to the poverty in Africa regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
economy and health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. They cannot ignore the dire need that African
people
cannot afford
such
as food and vaccines which are no longer an issue in those rich
countries
. It is recorded that over the past few decades,
due to
the
support
from 1st world
countries
, many lives have been saved in Africa.
Thus
, supporting borderless is much more important than anything else. In conclusion, if we only
support
our
owned
Replace the word
own
show examples
people
,
then
it may only help the domestic
people
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
better, but it does not help to resolve the global issues. The more
people
we can help, the better world we can build.
Submitted by nhp2610 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global interconnectivity
  • international cooperation
  • ethics
  • moral obligation
  • geographical borders
  • diplomatic relations
  • economic stability
  • global security
  • resource allocation
  • expertise
  • international aid
  • dependency and development
  • sustainable solutions
  • local and global initiatives
  • community resilience
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