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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In order to study effectively, it requires comfort, peace and time. So it is impossible for a student to combine learning and employment at the same time because one distracts the other. Is it realistic to combine them at the same time? Support your opinion with examples.

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In today's world, responsibilities and expenses have increased massively, which forced many individuals to combine learning with employment. In my opinion,
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is not ideal as both of these tasks are being affected by the other. I believe that people excel in doing one thing at a time for multiple reasons.
First,
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

research has shown that people do better focusing on one task and that multitasking reduces the quality of each task being achieved.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a student who has to learn and memorize specific subjects will take longer and be less efficient if they keep getting interrupted by their work.
Similarly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, their jobs could
get
Verb problem
be

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
 affected by them being distracted by their lessons.
Second,
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

working hours and class times are usually fixed and not flexible,
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 organizing both to be at different times could be a struggle for a lot of people. To illustrate, Most universities run morning and afternoon classes,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 businesses run from 8 am to 5 pm.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 issue could force many to take fewer classes to accommodate their career schedule or make them work night shifts. clearly, many issues could arise from
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as students sleeping less which is not beneficial to either their studies or careers.
Last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 but not least, Combining studying and working does not leave much for leisure or free time. Other aspects of one's life will be affected negatively, For ,example family and friends. I believe that life has much more to give and enjoy than spending it all studying and working.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, everyone needs a break to recharge to get back to their jobs with full energy. In conclusion, Many individuals are forced to study and work simultaneously, but I believe that doing so is not efficient and leads to lesser results. To be successful at what you do, you have to be able to give it 100 per cent of your time and effort.

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task response
Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the task prompt, including discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of combining learning and employment. Provide a more balanced view by acknowledging potential benefits of combining learning and employment while also addressing the drawbacks.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a generally clear and logical structure. However, enhance coherence by using linking words and transition phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and supports it with relevant details and examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Multitasking
  • Time management
  • Part-time employment
  • Academic performance
  • Flexible scheduling
  • Online education
  • Professional life
  • Psychological stress
  • Institutional support
  • Productivity tools
  • Prioritization
  • Work-study balance
  • Career services
  • Financial obligations
  • Realistic goals
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