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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habit in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reposting the min features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habit in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reposting the min features, and make comparisons where relevant
#survey #people #coffee #tea #habit #five #australian #cities #information #min #features #comparisons
The chart compares the number of citizen’s
habits
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of buying and drinking both
coffee
 and tea in five
cities
 in Australia for the
last
 4 weeks. The unit of measurement is in percentage. 
Overall
, the figures for
five
Correct article usage
the five
show examples
cities
 have varieties of lifestyles. The
habits
 of people in all regions that went to the café to buy
coffee
 and tea in the
last
 4 weeks is higher than to buy
instant
coffee
 and fresh
coffee
, except
Adelaide
. In all regions, buying fresh
coffee
 is the lowest percentage.  As the graph shows, approximately 60% to 65% of
Correct article usage
the populations
show examples
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
 in Melbourne, Hobart and Sydney
habits
 went to a café to buy
coffee
, compared to
Adelaide
 only about 49%
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
buy
instant
coffee
 is a great number in
this
 city. The
proportions
Fix the agreement mistake
proportion
show examples
 of people who buy
instant
coffee
 is the second highest, with some
cities
such
 as Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney around 45% to 55%. The figures for buying
coffee
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the lowest in all
cities
, Sydney and Melbourne
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 40%, Hobart’s habit is approximately 35% and
follow
Change the form of the verb
followed
show examples
 by Brisbane and
Adelaide
almost
Change preposition
at almost
show examples
 35%.  In summary,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
habits
 percentage that went to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coffee
 is higher in all
cities
 than
Adelaide
Change preposition
in Adelaide
show examples
, which buying
instant
coffee
 is the bigger rate
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 50%. In
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks, buying
coffee
 has been the lowest in five
cities
.
Submitted by gabriellasada24 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words habits, coffee, cities, instant, adelaide with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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