IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

in a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums or money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
In the cutting-edge era,
people
 expect technology to be utilized in transportation. Most
people
 believe that the infrastructure of the railway must be upgraded and government should spend large sums of money on
this
 project, whilst others think that, the development of public
transport
 is a necessity in every society.
This
 essay will discuss both views.
To begin
, the new rail line is more suitable for businessmen or women because time is important and valuable in their careers. The new rail line must become advanced and faster.
For instance
, currently in Iran, the majority of businessmen or women travel by plane, and plane tickets get sold out soon.
Therefore
, if trains could travel long distances between cities in a shorter period and
also
 improve their facilities, the concern of time would be solved.
On the other hand
, the majority of
people
use
 public
transport
 to go to work and they want to ameliorate them. Improving public transportation will reduce air pollution,
for example
, in India
people
use
 old and stale buses so air pollution increases significantly and cause many lung-related diseases and cancers. meanwhile, in the United Arabic Emirates public
transport
such
 as the metro is advanced, and
people
use
 them a lot.
Therefore
, the development and improvement of public
transport
 make
people
use
 vehicles less.
To sum up
, I agree with both statements.
hence
, for long distances, the railway must be advanced and upgraded for business workers to save time.
Furthermore
, in cities public
transport
 is more essential and needs to become improved and more efficient.
Submitted by shokri.hananeh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: