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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
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Some people believe that
science
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 should prioritize improving people’s lives. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
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 view and I believe that the essential goal of
science
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should
Verb problem
is to
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 make humans live better First of all,
science
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 plays a critical role in health as it facilitates research into alternate cures for diseases and conditions that have no known cure yet.
For instance
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, cancer patients who once had bleak prospects now have more hope thanks to cutting-edge cancer treatments from scientists around the world.
Furthermore
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,
science
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 has demonstrated its ability to improve healthcare systems significantly. Medical technology advancements
such
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 as vaccines and antibiotics have not only saved countless lives but
also
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 helped to eradicate infectious diseases worldwide.
Moreover
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,
science
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 can provide solutions to improve people's daily living conditions so they can achieve better well-being and happiness levels.
Secondly
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, scientific advances in fields
such
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 as transportation or communication contribute immensely to enhancing our daily living standards. High-tech gadgets make tasks more manageable at home or work
while
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 innovations in transport allow us to travel faster and farther than ever before. Smartphones,
for instance
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, have changed how we communicate with each other and allowed us access to a wealth of knowledge with just a few taps of a finger.
In addition
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, the boom of online shopping provides an opportunity for shoppers worldwide to obtain goods without having to leave their homes. In conclusion, improving human life remains one of the most important aims of
science
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. And it seems to me that with scientific development, we can totally hope for a better life.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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Specific Example
Though your essay is nicely organized, the main points could have been supported with more specific examples.
Idea Development
Ensure to provide more concrete and unique ideas related to the topic. The ideas expressed were somewhat common and non-specific.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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