many people say that we have developed into a throw away culture because we are filing up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we can't fully dispose of . to what extent do u agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem.

In
this
modern civilization, some people believe that there is a setback culture to how people respect the environment, especially with the increasing number of undegradable wastes, which pollute our lands and oceans. I believe it has become a real-world issue that needs serious attention to resolve it.
To begin
with, the usage of plastics is inevitable in the modern world because of their convenience and efficiency. We can find the polymer material in almost all items that we have purchased,
hence
after they have transformed into useless things, we usually have a limited choice: to throw it away.
For instance
, on several beaches in Indonesia, there are a lot of plastic bottles, plastic bags, and
moreover
a sofa with synthetic leather being thrown into the sea.
Furthermore
, on the land, some certain places have developed into a mountain of garbage.
Thus
, to mitigate
this
problem escalated into more disastrous, we need some measures,
such
as: starting using degradable material, reusing and recycling the trashes. There are already scientific breakthroughs that can make a natural-based element as comfortable and useful as plastic. In Indonesia, there are some social movements, trying to introduce the latter. They
also
come to the field, collect the trashes, and negotiate with the government to have a regulatory framework or environmental-law related to
this
.
To sum up
, the throw-away culture needs to be fixed with a holistic solution, starting with ourselves, science, and the community,
otherwise
we are going to live in a world full of garbage.
Submitted by angela.claudia1107 on

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task achievement
Be more specific with the measures to reduce waste. Instead of general terms like 'degradable material' or 'reusing and recycling,' provide specific examples and details.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs have clear topic sentences and smooth transitions to improve the logical flow of ideas.
language
Check for grammatical mistakes, such as 'trashes' which should be 'trash' or 'waste,' and awkward phrasing that affects readability.
task achievement
Expanding on each main point with more detailed explanations or data can help improve the support for your arguments.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main issue effectively.
coherence cohesion
You make a good effort to present both the problem and potential solutions in a structured way.
task achievement
Real-world examples, such as plastic waste on Indonesian beaches, add authenticity and impact to your essay.
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