In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, some companies are increasing their advertisements particularly when their target is children. Through

this

Linking Words

, they try to convince them to purchase their products.

However

Linking Words

, parents believe that sometimes these publicities have a negative impact on their kids. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will

be discussed

Wrong verb form

discuss

show examples

both views using pertinent arguments and I will express my opinion. On one hand, marketing is the most vital strategy for so many industries to sell their merchandise. Occasionally numbers of their stuff are essential to support educational learning as are the tablets or laptops.

Moreover

Linking Words

, other products influence positively especially in our youth when

this

Linking Words

helps them to develop fundamental skills

such

Linking Words

as problem-solving, math or creativity.

For instance

Linking Words

, playing with blocks or connectors allows children to develop some of these skills and families can spend quality time playing with them.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, sometimes ads may affect negatively especially to offspring, when these industries offer junk snacks or unhealthy food. On

this

Linking Words

occasion is unfair to parents

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

are teaching healthy eating habits to their kids.

In addition

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

generation is very popular for youngsters to play video games,

nevertheless

Linking Words

, some of them display high levels of violence and young people are more likely to repeat those behaviours. To give an example, games like Pubg and Call of Duty may have several violent graphics which can result in building arrogant behaviour among the youth. In conclusion, from what has been discussed above,

it is clear that

Linking Words

the advertisements may be beneficial. In my opinion, I agree with them because it is their tactic to show their products. As a teacher, it is crucial that parents should supervise how to educate their kids and not spoil them all the time with what they want.

kata1411Mon Jul 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and conciseness. Provide a clear and comprehensive thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader through the essay. Summarize the main points and restate the position in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure. Work on organizing the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences and supporting details. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument and follows a logical progression.

Task Achievement

The response addresses both sides of the issue but lacks depth and clarity in discussing the views. Provide clearer and more comprehensive arguments for both the benefits and drawbacks of advertisements targeting children. Ensure that the position is clearly stated and supported throughout the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
MODERN CHILDREN ARE SUFFERING FROM THE DISEASE THAT WERE ONCE CONSIDERED BEING MEANT FOR ADULTS ONLY. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN BE OFFERED
Nowadays, even newborn children can catch certain diseases like obesity, cancer and cardiovascular arrests which used to be prevalent among adults only. I uphold the view that although a few drastic changes occurring in today's world have an exponential impact on the quality of life, therefore, lowering the age bar for the record of deadly deadly diseases among young people, some decisive measures can be put into action.
6.5
band
In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?
Around the world, many traditional festivals these days are at risk of becoming outdated and irrelevant. In my opinion, this contributes to issues concerning cultural disintegration and should be countered by citizens in concert with governments.
8
band
Some people belive that university education should only be offered to those who can pay for their own courses and the government should not be expected to fund higher education. to what extent do you agree?
Free education in higher studies has been a trending topic for some time now. As a product of a free educational system, I completely agree that the government should grant free university access to every citizen.
6.5
band
With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?
The younger generations in this contemporary time have gained an accessibility to social media more than in the past. In this essay, problems and solutions of this matter will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.
6
band
There is a lot of pressure and stress in many people's lives. What are the causes of this problem? What could be done to reduce it?
Nowadays,there is an intense debate about what is the effective way to teach our kids . While lots of individuals believe that internet reading items must be used for a toddler to show him how to read , others think that just a handbook has to be taken. I completely agree with the initial attendance.

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

MODERN CHILDREN ARE SUFFERING FROM THE DISEASE THAT WERE ONCE CONSIDERED BEING MEANT FOR ADULTS ONLY. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN BE OFFERED

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Some people belive that university education should only be offered to those who can pay for their own courses and the government should not be expected to fund higher education. to what extent do you agree?

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?

There is a lot of pressure and stress in many people's lives. What are the causes of this problem? What could be done to reduce it?