In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, some companies are increasing their advertisements particularly when their target is children. Through
this
, they try to convince them to purchase their products. However
, parents believe that sometimes these publicities have a negative impact on their kids. In this
essay, I will be discussed
both views using pertinent arguments and I will express my opinion.
On one hand, marketing is the most vital strategy for so many industries to sell their merchandise. Occasionally numbers of their stuff are essential to support educational learning as are the tablets or laptops. Wrong verb form
discuss
Moreover
, other products influence positively especially in our youth when this
helps them to develop fundamental skills such
as problem-solving, math or creativity. For instance
, playing with blocks or connectors allows children to develop some of these skills and families can spend quality time playing with them.
On the other hand
, sometimes ads may affect negatively especially to offspring, when these industries offer junk snacks or unhealthy food. On this
occasion is unfair to parents that
are teaching healthy eating habits to their kids. Correct pronoun usage
who
In addition
, in this
generation is very popular for youngsters to play video games, nevertheless
, some of them display high levels of violence and young people are more likely to repeat those behaviours. To give an example, games like Pubg and Call of Duty may have several violent graphics which can result in building arrogant behaviour among the youth.
In conclusion, from what has been discussed above, it is clear that
the advertisements may be beneficial. In my opinion, I agree with them because it is their tactic to show their products. As a teacher, it is crucial that parents should supervise how to educate their kids and not spoil them all the time with what they want.Submitted by kata1411 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and conciseness. Provide a clear and comprehensive thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader through the essay. Summarize the main points and restate the position in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure. Work on organizing the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences and supporting details. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument and follows a logical progression.
Task Achievement
The response addresses both sides of the issue but lacks depth and clarity in discussing the views. Provide clearer and more comprehensive arguments for both the benefits and drawbacks of advertisements targeting children. Ensure that the position is clearly stated and supported throughout the essay.
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