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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g., at home, when traveling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #technology #people #work #workplace #e #g #home #mobility
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Nowadays,
technology
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 has been utilized in several workplaces. It allows people to
work
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 everywhere including at home and even
while
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 traveling. Personally, it is advantageous for people to be able to
work
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 from anywhere. To start with, being able to
work
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 outside the
workplace
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 is beneficial.
Workers
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 can track the assignments through the electronic device, and they can
work
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 on them from an unconventional
workplace
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.
This
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 makes the
work
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 finished faster because every employee can do their
work
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 even though they are not present at the
workplace
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.
For example
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, an employee who has to go to a different city for a conference is still working on the project
while
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 sitting in a cafe.
On the contrary
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, there is a
disadvantage
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 to
this
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 mobility. The
workers
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 may have to
work
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 overtime in the evening or on days that are not working days since employers can force their employees to
work
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 with the availability of
this
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technology
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.
This
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 disrupts the employees’ free
time
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, so they have less
time
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 to relax.
However
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, many advantages are derived from
this
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 innovation, so, in my opinion, the benefits outweigh the
disadvantage
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. In conclusion, the use of
this
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technology
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 can create many benefits.
Workers
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 are able to follow their
work
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 and finish it from everywhere, which makes the
work
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 done quickly even though they are not in the area of the
workplace
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.
However
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, there is a
disadvantage
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of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
technology
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. Some employers may force their
workers
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 to
work
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although
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 it is not that working
time
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 because of
this
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 capability of
this
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 mobility; it affects the
workers
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’ relaxing
time
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.
Nevertheless
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, there are more advantages than the
disadvantage
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.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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