There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

I agree with the statement that there is a lot of pressure on the young generation today to succeed academically. some people believe that non-academic

subjects

, physical activities and cookery should be removed from the syllabus so students can focus on their academic careers but I personally don't agree with

this

. The main reason is that the pupils who are studying day and night to do well in their academic exams are very distressed in the modern era, learning has become very tough and there is competition everywhere. There are many career opportunities for the younger people who are going to succeed in future but in ,school's there are almost 5-6

subjects

a student has to study and work hard to pass the exams. For every exam students are given only a 1 day holiday in between exam week to study for upcoming tests and do well in them but

this

causes a lot of distress to teenagers and some of them even go into depression

due to

this

. There are weekly tests happening every other day. The schooling system should

also

look after a student's mental health.

However

, the branch of knowledge

such

as physical information and cookery help students get relaxed and enjoy life. recruitment play football, cricket, basketball, tennis etc which will keep them fit . These

subjects

are the pursuit of happiness for the upcoming generation and some of the people in these

subjects

also

make life-long memories which will stay with them for many years. If these

subjects

are removed school life will be boring and no student will be interested in studying, yes they will focus on their studies but they will forget how life is

besides

academic work and it will affect their mental health.

Finally

, I believe that

subjects

such

as physical education and cookery should not be removed from the school's syllabus.

Submitted by yashrrajput46 on Mon Jul 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people feel that learning a foreign language is an essential component of a child’s education. Others feel that learning a foreign language is often a waste of time that can be better spent on learning about technology and other more vocational subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Learning a foreign language seems an initiative priorty for young children educational journey while others belive that it is waste of children time and they need to be exposed to technology and vacational subjects are more important. In my point of view, language ability place an extremely important role which can be used a tool to enhance later in their career.
4.5
band
With the growing population of cities, more and more people live in homes that have little or no outdoor area. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
In the modern era, the population in certain nations is increasing at an incredible rate. Well, due to more occupants, the rate of houses built with no outdoor areas is increasing and a part of the society believes that it is a positive development of the country but remaining to reject the notion. According to my opinion, the latter view seems to be more significant so, the reasons behind this will be explicated in upcoming paragraphs. Thus, will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
5
band
The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
In this jet-set age, with times worth being significantly more compared to an ancient period of life, with everyone working around the clock, chasing their dreams, trying to be the best in an every expect of whatever they do, they somewhat completely ignore their personal life and health. For these reasons being the hot topics around the globe, some people are highly emphasizing on having a four days work week. My school of thought finds me in a split between both views.
5.5
band
Prevention is more important than cure. researching and treating disease is very costly, so it is better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that preventive healthcare should be the main focus of the healthcare system instead of medical research and treatment due to the latter being too expensive. While I agree that preventive measures are necessary to stop diseases from spreading and lower healthcare expenditure, I also believe that allocating financial resources to research and treatment should continue despite their high costs.
5
band
Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people's lives and should receive more funding. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
International reports become popular among news companies, making them invest much money on it. However, some people argue that the local reports should be more highlighted, as it should be more relevant to daily lives. In my opinion, I agree with the first opinion that the international news must be spread, as it can be a new learning source and it can also increase the social awareness between international people.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

With the growing population of cities, more and more people live in homes that have little or no outdoor area. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Prevention is more important than cure. researching and treating disease is very costly, so it is better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people's lives and should receive more funding. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?