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Writing Samples
Band 4

Doctors in many countries say that people do not do enough physical exercises. What are the causes of this trend? How can the situation be improved?

#doctors #countries #people #exercises #trend #situation
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During the 19th century, a man had to go outside and work hard to provide a fair
amount
 of food for his family. Even, his family members supported him by planting crops in their backyard. But, the inventions in the latter part of the century changed
this
 to
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 trend, where the
amount
 of physical work
reduced
Add a missing verb
was reduced
show examples
. People started to use their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 which yielded the necessary things for them without much effort. Adding to
this
, the evolution of technology provided more desk jobs, which decreased the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of physical activities done in a
day
.
This
 trend has grown year-by-year and nowadays we are able to shop
anything
Change preposition
for anything
show examples
 online and get delivered
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our doorstep. The onset of pandemic diseases is
also
 a factor in the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 online shopping. The increase in the number of online games and social media, made us fixated
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
seat
Fix the agreement mistake
seats
show examples
. All of these factors
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 kept humans inside their doors, which lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decrease in the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of physical activities we did.
This
 change did not happen in a single
day
, and in order to mitigate
this
, we have to make more efforts. We can follow a daily routine of going for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exercise in the morning, and
also
 we can use stairs
instead
 of escalators, whenever possible. We can
also
 avoid spending more time
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of screens and go out for a small game in
the
Change the word
our
show examples
lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 time. Government can create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness of physical activities
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the media. They can
also
 conduct marathons and various
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 events to indulge more people in exercising. Rome was not built in a
day
, like that we have to take small steps
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, to increase the
amount
 of exercise we do in a
day
.
Submitted by arunkavi115 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • physical inactivity
  • busy and stressful
  • work schedules
  • lack of motivation
  • technological advancements
  • unhealthy habits
  • insufficient awareness
  • benefits of exercise
  • sedentary behavior
  • health risks
  • sedentary jobs
  • physical fitness
  • physical well-being
  • regular exercise
  • physical activity
  • health professionals
  • public awareness campaigns
  • exercise routines
  • fitness facilities
  • personal trainers
  • health benefits
  • weight management
  • stress reduction
  • improved cardiovascular health
  • increased energy levels
  • enhanced mood
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