IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

“In some countries the government promotes public transport as the primary means of transportation, and discourages private vehicle ownership. Do you think advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?”

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It has been recently observed that the high authorities are motivating the use of transit or railways rather than of personal modes of travelling. From my perspective, it has more benefits than drawbacks and both will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, the policy of preferring public vehicles has a plethora of advantages.
Initially
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, it is beneficial for the atmosphere, it would
decline
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
 the consumption of fuels and
saves
Correct subject-verb agreement
save
show examples
energy.
For instance
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, during carpooling or group travelling, more masses could cover a common distance together
instead
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 of individually. Nextly, it could reduce the contamination of impurities in nature and traffic
due to
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 less number of automobiles on the road.
Thus
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, air and noise pollution would be reduced drastically.
Besides
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, the probability of accidents would be comparatively low as more professional drivers would be riding buses or trains.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 trend has come up with some demerits as well. To commence with, it has surged the time of travelling.
In other words
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, the long waiting hours and regular stops
while
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 riding
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 testing the patience level of voyagers.
For example
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, in
this
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 era, everyone is leading a hectic lifestyle, and they use various modes to save time;
however
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, the trend has become a problem for them.
Apart from
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this
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, it has affected the automobile industry and the economy of the nation. In simple words, the high tariffs are paid by the inhabitants and the companies, when they sell or purchase cars, bikes, or other vehicles. In conclusion, overpopulation and their needs have a big impact on the environment, change could preserve it in many ways.
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Whereas
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, some of its downsides have become a matter of concern and cause of opposition by people of change.
Therefore
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, the government ought to invest in these provisions to motivate its utilisation.

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task response
The essay provides a mix of advantages and disadvantages, but the examples and arguments lack depth and specificity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion, but the main points lack clear development and organization.
lexical resource
There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but it is often imprecise or awkwardly used.
grammatical range
There is an attempt to use complex structures, but there are many errors in grammar and usage.
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