IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #travel #place #work #computers #internet #phones #home
Nowadays, humans are dependent on technology and the
internet
, even a small thing can easily be done by the use of mobile phones and the
internet
. Unlike the past, when an excessive number of
people
prefers
Wrong verb form
preferred
show examples
 to travel to their offices for
work
, now with the help of advanced technology, the
internet
 and mobile phones, they are shifting towards
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 from
home
. In these looming paragraphs, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages. The prime factor responsible, for why
people
 are shifting to
work
 from is because of the significant growth in technology and user-friendly interfaces that not only embraces employees but
also
 owners of multinational companies that
work
 from
home
 is possible.
Moreover
, the corporate community saves 2 to 3 hours of travel
time
 to their offices, which allows them to spend extra
time
 with their family and focus more on
work
.
Additionally
, because of the seamless 5G
internet
, workers are easily conducting meetings, and hitting monthly targets in just a couple of days, which results in a positive
work
-life balance.
However
, it is an undeniable fact that
people
 are becoming lazy because of working from
home
 rather than the
office
. Every day, when an individual
travel
Correct subject-verb agreement
travels
show examples
 to the
office
 at a fixed
time
, works
according to
 schedules and leaves the
office
 on
time
, helps them to become disciplined in life.
Furthermore
,
people
 from different cultures and skills
work
 together in the same cabin, which helps them to learn their culture and skills, as a matter of
fact
Add the comma(s)
fact,
show examples
people
 learn more by working from the
office
 rather than at
home
. Recently, the CEO of Infosys tweeted to all of their employees to be ready to start
work
 from the
office
, so they can increase their efficiency. In a nutshell, each aspect has its pros and cons.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there are uncountable benefits of working from
home
, I believe each individual learns and experiences more things when daily comes to the
office
 and becomes disciplined in life.
Submitted by gsmultani506 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of working from home. However, the response could be more focused and structured to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the logical structure can be improved to better organize the ideas and arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!