IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#someone #luck
It is argued that one’s success in life is mostly a matter of fortune. From my perspective, I do not totally agree with the statement
due to
 the fact that a person’s achievements are not only based on luck but
also
other
Change preposition
on other
show examples
 factors.
This
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 following essay will discuss my point of view On the one hand, luck plays an integral role in one’s accomplishment.
Initially
, fortune set up a concrete foundation.
For instance
, people who
born
Add a missing verb
are born
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wealthy family is able to access high-class education systems and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
sufficient healthcare service, creating
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 conditions to achieve significant milestones.
In addition
,
elite
Correct article usage
the elite
show examples
 class always have advantages in many disadvantageous situations.
As a result
,
such
 persons always have superior opportunities to reach high status.
On the other hand
, there are many other factors
contribute
Correct pronoun usage
that contribute
show examples
 to a person’s career
such
 as dedication, persistence, determination and
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
.
This
 situation can manifest itself through the fact that, Charlie Chaplin, a famous comedian in
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
 century, who born in poverty and lost his father at a very young age. In spite of extremely
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 conditions, he
then
 struggled with challenges and became excessively successful in his midlife.
Thus
, being successful can be true
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all if they make enough effort in their life. In conclusion,
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
luck
Correct article usage
the luck
show examples
factor
Add a comma
,factor
show examples
 there are a multiple
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
other aspects
contribute
Correct pronoun usage
that contribute
show examples
 to people’s accomplishments. Success requires more than that of being fortunate.
Submitted by phamthithanhmai1501 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • diligence
  • consistent effort
  • inherent talent
  • honing skills
  • external factors
  • upbringing
  • social connections
  • economic background
  • right place at the right time
  • contributing factor
  • conjunction
  • success
  • achievements
  • endeavors
  • fortune
  • serendipity
  • determinants
  • efficacy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: