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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernize, old buildings are demolished and replaced with new buildings. What are the advantages and disadvantages of knocking down old buildings? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In many cities, old buildings are demolished to provide space for new developments.
This
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 modernization brings several benefits,
such
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 as meeting the needs of contemporary lifestyles, but it
also
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 has drawbacks, including environmental concerns like dust pollution during
demolition
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. In my opinion, the advantages can outweigh the disadvantages if the process is well-managed. On the one hand, modern skyscrapers and constructions cater to the trendy needs of people
due to
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 their contemporary design and functionality. Many old buildings in large cities cannot support modern lifestyles. With urbanization on the rise, trade and businesses require larger and more comfortable office spaces.
However
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,
due to
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 space restrictions, governments often need to demolish older structures to make way for new ones.
For example
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, building the International Trade Center in New York was a strategic move that centralized markets and trading offices in one location, greatly benefiting the business community.
On the other hand
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, the
demolition
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 process can be lengthy and cause significant dust pollution, posing environmental risks. In post-Soviet countries, many high-standard skyscrapers require meticulous
demolition
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 efforts.
This
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 process can take considerable time, and the resulting cement dust can become a serious environmental issue.
For instance
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, the ongoing
demolition
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 of a government skyscraper in Bukhara has been causing dust-related problems for nearby residents for the past two months. In conclusion,
while
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 the
demolition
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 of old buildings to make way for modern ones has both advantages and disadvantages, the benefits,
such
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 as meeting contemporary needs and enhancing urban functionality, can outweigh the drawbacks if the
demolition
Use synonyms
 is well-organized. Despite the environmental concerns, the positive impacts of modernization are significant.

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task response
You have provided a complete response to the prompt, adequately discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of demolishing old buildings for new developments. However, including more varied examples could further strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay exhibits a clear structure with an effective introduction and conclusion. Nevertheless, you could improve the logical flow by using more transitional phrases that seamlessly connect your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure to expand on each point with more detailed analysis and examples. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task response
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion, which contributes to a strong task achievement score.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, demonstrating good coherence and cohesion.
task response
You have provided specific examples, such as the International Trade Center in New York and a government skyscraper in Bukhara, which help to illustrate your points.
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