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Band 5.5

The table below shows information and prediction regarding the change in percentage of the population aged 65 and above in three countries.

The table below shows information and prediction regarding the change in percentage of the population aged 65 and above in three countries.
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The table shows data about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 aged 65 and above in
Canda
Correct your spelling
Canada
show examples
, Germany, and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
UK from 1988 to 2030. It is evident that all 3
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 will only
increase
Use synonyms
 in
population
Use synonyms
 aged 65 and older as the year goes by.
To begin
Linking Words
, Germany
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of 65 years old and above
population
Use synonyms
 coming in at 20% and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 the lowest at 14% in 1988.
However
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
 of 65+ years old
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 every country in the table will see an
increase
Use synonyms
 in
percentage
Use synonyms
. With the data collected, we will be seeing an even more
increase
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 that are 65 and above by 5% by 2030. Though, from 1988 to 2000 Uk have the lowest
increase
Use synonyms
 in
65+
Correct article usage
the 65+
show examples
 years old
population
Use synonyms
 at only
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
%
increase
Use synonyms
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to Canada and Germany which increased
5
Change preposition
by 5
show examples
%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, population, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 6 times.
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