Nowadays, some people believe that fashion is too important for young people and it has a negative impact on people and society. Do you agree for disagree?

#people #fashion #impact #society

In our society, some people think that

fashion

is necessary for

adults

like other

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

However

this

type of

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

may

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

several drawbacks to the human community

instead

of positive impacts. I personally disagree

for

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

notion and

hence

, in

this

essay, I am going to clarify and highlight the reasons behind my rejection.

In particular

, an adult has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

great potential with a high capacity to learn or improve his/her skills to contribute to the growth of his/her country. They can bring patents for human society.

For example

, all the developed countries are grown based on the

adults

Change to a genitive case

adult's

adults'

show examples

skills.

Furthermore

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent data revealed that young people have high

physicall

Correct your spelling

physical

and mental power

Change preposition

show examples

their

age

and they can achieve anything that they want.

On the other hand

fashion

is a short pleasure and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

useless entertainment. Researchers believe that the golden

age

for

human

Add an article

a human

the human

show examples

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

is an

adolscent

Correct your spelling

adolescent

time. In

this

age

, if we spend our time in

such

a useless thing, we will face many problems in our lives.

For instance

fashion

does not bring any novelties or new things

for

Change preposition

show examples

adults

Change noun form

adults'

adult's

show examples

lives,

therefore

, it has many negative impacts

for

Change preposition

show examples

their lives and they will become

skilless

Replace the word

skilled

show examples

in the future. So

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

, parents and

Correct article usage

the governmet

show examples

governmet

Correct your spelling

government

should carry

responsibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibility

show examples

and make conferences and activities in order to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

increase

Change preposition

apply

show examples

adults

Change noun form

adults'

adult's

show examples

awareness.

Overall

after

this

discussion, we can

canclude

Correct your spelling

conclude

that

fashion

has a short pleasure but it makes long pain,

therefore

, I believe that people

Change preposition

show examples

this

age

can improve their skills

instead

of spending time in

fashion

Submitted by bashdar.hussen on Tue Jul 04 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Nowadays, some people believe that fashion is too important for young people and it has a negative impact on people and society. Do you agree for disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some colleges encougage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this.