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Band 6.5

Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #factor #happiness
Many
people
 in society believe that having
money
 is essential for achieving
happiness
,
while
 others consider that
happiness
 has nothing to do with
money
. In my opinion,
money
 does not always provide
happiness
, but it does contribute in some way. On the
one
hand
,
people
 dedicate their entire lives to obtaining a large sum of
money
 because they believe that
happiness
 and
money
 go
hand
 in
hand
 and that without
money
one
 cannot fully enjoy life.
For instance
,
people
 who find satisfaction in experiencing new countries, donning designer labels, buying pricey and cutting-edge technology, or enjoying expensive restaurants would be unable to do so without
money
. Another example is wealthy parents who can purchase their child's
happiness
 when their youngster is gravely ill and needs expensive medication or treatment abroad. Enjoyment and
money
 are
one
; they cannot imagine living without them.
On the other
hand
, many strong cases are to be made against the notion that wealth and
happiness
 are related.
People
 tend to think
money
 can't make their sorrows and suffering disappear. As an example,
money
 has no value to a mother who has lost her child in an accident because she cannot be consoled financially or made to smile. She can be soothed and made to feel better by sympathetic words. In conclusion, the arguments presented above are convincing for both viewpoints.
Money
, in my opinion, has a lot to offer
people
 in terms of their status and way of life, but
one
 shouldn't mistake that for the main cause of
happiness
.
Submitted by ieltsamiedu on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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