Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe theyshould take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #governments #support #people #theyshould #care

Few

people

believe that

government

should help retired seniors financially and some say that they should be financially independent than depending on the

government

. In my opinion, the

government

should do their part of the fund for the retired

people

and they need to be financially independent for a safety purpose. One of the major reason, why

government

need to support senior

people

is because of their sacrifice towards the nation.

For instance

: Military

people

have spent most of their life span to safeguard the nation and

people

, sometimes in war they even tend to lose one of their body parts and the level of risk they take is typically higher. So in , the

future

government

should fund them to sustain them for the rest of their life.

In addition

, to live independently than being a burden for family members as well.

Although

this

view is acceptable in many ways the other side's view should

also

be taken into consideration. In today’s scenario,

government

is economically unstable and to develop it , they need to cut off a few expenses like retirement funds. So that they can focus on current employees' salaries

instead

of caring for ex-employees. Despite

this

fact, by reducing

this

scheme they can provide additional employment as well which will make an impact on our economic growth.

Likewise

people

should always be independent in order to face the sudden consequences because there is no guarantee in

this

policy, they can even stop it in

future

. So for safety

Fix the agreement mistake

concerns

show examples

concern

Add a comma

,concern

show examples

people

should always invest their money

while

earning to have a peaceful life in

future

To conclude

, I believe retired

people

should invest their money

while

in active working periods so that they can be independent in

future

and the

government

should financially support retired

people

for their sustaining.

Submitted by sowmya madhavan on Tue Jul 04 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe theyshould take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Some people think that the government should provide free education at every level. However, some say that individuals should pay for their university education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many countries have now banned smoking in public places. Some people feel that government should ban smoking entirely. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?