IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

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In poor
countries
Use synonyms
, many
people
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 suffer from diseases
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 easy to treat in rich
countries
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.
Also
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,
People
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 in poor
countries
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 cannot afford medicines and medical treatments if they need
ones
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. So, some
people
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 believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drug companies should reduce
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 for them or give them
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
 free. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 idea has advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 who can afford medicines but still struggle to pay may complain about the gap between poor
people
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 and them.
For example
Linking Words
, there are some
people
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 who have to rent money to purchase tablets in rich
countries
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 and they have to pay back money they cannot afford.
Moreover
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, it might be difficult to decide who gets
discount
Correct article usage
a discount
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 and who doesn't. As I mentioned, there are
people
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 who can't pay at all and can pay little.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it would be complicated for the drug companies to choose
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 to apply.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 insist that poor
people
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has
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have
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 to get
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 treatment as everyone deserves.
People
Use synonyms
 can't ignore poor
people
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to die
Change the verb form
dying
show examples
 because of money so it is natural for them to get
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, even though it was easy to cure, there are a lot of
people
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 who suffer and pass away from diseases in poor
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
. So, we have to help them to survive and give them
opportunity
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the opportunity
an opportunity
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 to live equally.
Furthermore
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,
this
Linking Words
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
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 could help
countries
Use synonyms
 which have a small birth rate. One of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 is that poor
countries
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 often have many children,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 they die young. And if rich
countries
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 with little birth
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 donate them
required
Change preposition
to required
show examples
 medical treatment, children may help the problem of
less worker
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer workers
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 in those
countries
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 in the future. In conclusion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 should have the same opportunity and chances to live.
The drug
Correct article usage
Drug
show examples
 companies have to make
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right
border line
Correct your spelling
borderline
show examples
 to get
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
 and save
people
Use synonyms
's lives.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pharmaceuticals
  • Generic drugs
  • Patent laws
  • Healthcare disparity
  • Subsidies
  • Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)
  • Intellectual property
  • Epidemiology
  • Affordability
  • Global health initiatives
  • Corporate social responsibility
What to do next:
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