SOME PEOPLE USE SOCIAL MEDIA TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND NEWS EVENT. DO YOU THINK THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS TECHNOLOGY OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES.

Nowadays
technology
is becoming more and more useful to youth.
However
, a certain number of people tend to utilize social media for conversations with others and
use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
for crucial
news
around the world. I believe that its advantages
are overlapping
Wrong verb form
overlap with
show examples
its disadvantages. There are a plethora of advantages of
technology
.
Firstly
, people can share information in a short time period
as well as
over long distances. To explain it more, in the modern era, if a person lives in a foreign country, family members o friends can talk with them through various apps
such
as Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram, and Gmail.
For instance
, 80% of students use applications for different futures like video calls, and voice call because it is the cheapest way, or if they choose calling
then
they want to pay a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
amount of money for roaming.
As a result
, students can save a lot of money by doing that, and utilize it on monthly expenses.
Moreover
, people can get crucial
news
from the internet by which update themselves. To explicate, the internet has its own benefits
such
as the masses can see the latest
news
on mobile phones to compare with Television, because the
news
is broadcast in the evening not at a time.
In addition
to
this
, technologies are helping us in every sector.
For example
, in India, most machinery in Factories and Mills runs automatically by using
technology
setup.
As a result
, factory owners do not need to hire more experts for machinery. In conclusion, individuals are more reliant on
technology
nowadays because it helps us in many ways like gathering via video call and getting the latest
news
around the world.
Submitted by arshpreetmalkana on

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task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the topic and outlines the structure of your essay. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases. However, there are some instances where the logical progression of ideas is unclear. Ensure that each paragraph is logically linked to the previous one, and that the main points are supported with relevant examples.
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