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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

.Since people can study through the internet, schools have become unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #study #internet #schools
Invention
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The invention
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 of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 change the way of
access
Wrong verb form
accessing
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 information,
therefore
 some people believe that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 can replace the
role
 of
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
.In my view,
undoubtly
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is a good platform for studying,
while
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
also
 play
as
Correct your spelling
an
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indispensable
Add an article
an indispensable
the indispensable
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role
to
Change preposition
for
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student
Add an article
a student
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.
Internet
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The Internet
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 has
nickname
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a nickname
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that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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treasure
Add an article
a treasure
the treasure
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 of knowledge because it
collecting
Wrong verb form
collects
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 knowledge that
come
Change the verb form
comes
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 from
whole
Change the article
the whole
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 world.
In other words
,you can find
studying
Change the form of the verb
study
show examples
 materials in every
subjects
Change to a singular noun
subject
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such
 as
audios
Fix the agreement mistake
audio
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 and books from the
internet
 with just
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 click.
Addtionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,studying materials from
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is the newest and up-dating
such
 as
reseach
Correct your spelling
research
 and thesis.
For example
,some
edcation insitution
Correct your spelling
educational institutions
 will upload
thesis
Correct article usage
a thesis
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 which
just
Add a missing verb
is just
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complete
Replace the word
completed
show examples
 by
Add an article
the student
a student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
,and you can find the thesis
from
Change preposition
on
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 their website.
Besides
 that,studying on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 have huge elastic of time management and no restriction of places.To illustrate,some
students
 can’t focus
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
morning
Add an article
a morning
the morning
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 but have
good
Add an article
a good
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 focus
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
evening
Add an article
the evening
an evening
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,so they can
mange
Correct your spelling
manage
show examples
 their course to
evening
Correct article usage
the evening
show examples
 if studying on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 apply
as
Correct your spelling
a
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 necessary
role
 for
students
 studying because it is
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 teaching,and it will make
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
studying
Wrong verb form
study
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 more
focus
Replace the word
focused
show examples
.It
meaning
Wrong verb form
means
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students
 have more concentration in education
of
Change preposition
than
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face
 to
face
.
For example
,
students’s
Remove the s
students’
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result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are lower compared to studying in
school
 from the research in MCO.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,courses in
school
 are more structural than
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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,it can help
students
 easily master subjects by step
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
step.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion,
undoubtly
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
,studying through the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 have a lot of advantages,
likewise
 widely information and flexible time management.
While
 it can’t fully replace the
role
 of
school
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 of
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 is
Correct article usage
an approch
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approch
Correct your spelling
approach
 to real life and knowledge is not fragmentation.I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
merge
Wrong verb form
merging
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 these two methods and
balacing
Correct your spelling
balancing
 is the most effective way for
students
studying
Change the verb form
to study
show examples
.
Submitted by goeyqihang on

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