IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Young people spend to much money on expensive fashion brands and gadgets these days, many of which are not necessary. To what extend do you agree?

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In
this
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 progressive day, lots of
money
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 is wasted on the high prices gadgets and stylish brands by the young,
while
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 a number of them are not extremely needed. I am convinced that it is unnecessary to consume and will be impacted on the young if it becomes a habit. Nowadays, lots of young adults tend to purchase many
things
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 that are costly because some reasons.
Firstly
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, they are addicted to what is currently popular by looking at social media.
Moreover
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, many e-commerce provides ads that attract them to buy, even though the price is high.
Secondly
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, the young generation that they have buying behaviour that gradually to get some kinds of stuff.
For example
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, they are interested to collect clothes or dresses at a high price
although
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 they have a similar with them. Unfortunately, they spend a lot of
money
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 on
things
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 that are not really necessary. Evidently, there are other factors that those people act like that. The young are easily influenced by their environment which makes them fear missing out on something
that is
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 trending.
For instance
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 , these days the handphone from Apple brand is extremely well-known,
therefore
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 they will expand their
money
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 to get that item.
In addition
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, impacted by their environment because social levels make those people have to look fascinated by the luxury brands in their circumstances.
As a result
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, it affects them to always stand by for looking at the high prices of items. For these reasons, many of them feel is usual to spend much of
money
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 to buy
things
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, even if they have a similar item or might still have the other. In conclusion, I strongly believe that is because of many reasons that young people can spend
money
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 to get stuff at a high price
such
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 as attract by social media and other factors. It impacts them because much
money
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 is spent to purchase
things
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 that are not necessary.

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