IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, governments are encouraging to people and factories move out in rural areas due to housing and transport issues. Discuss both views and give your personal example.

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The number of countries` Governments are motivating factory owners and the population to move out in the rural fields,
due to
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 the transportation and housing crises in
cities
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. Yes, it is a better development to move out outside of the
cities
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 in rural regions, which will reduce housing and traffic problems but it will require a huge amount of money and new developments in the rural spaces. Both sides of
this
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 essay will be proven by careful analysis before constructing an inference. On the one hand, the main reason is that the smaller community reduce the pollution from the downtown
due to
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 fever workers and less use of vehicles. Another factor is a minimum burden on the housing sector. Currently, the culture is increasing dramatically and the demand for housing and transportation is increasing. In peak hours, people are stuck in traffic on the roads and emits the population.
In addition
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, house rentals and buy prices have been increased.
For example
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, in New South Wales, as per data released by the Government, more than 2000 houses require immediate to accommodate the crowd.
On the other hand
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, in rural fields, if businesses and the population move a huge infrastructure to build requires heavy investments by the Authorities. Another reason is that the least demand for goods
due to
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 fewer people and it will increase the transport cost of goods to bring in the metropolis.
For instance
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, to study for their children parents will prefer to stay in
cities
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 for better institutions. In conclusion, following the analysis of both sides,
it is clear that
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 people and industry owners should think about moving out to rural areas, where these can develop and bring new job opportunities.
However
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, we can not deny factories and folks are important for the
cities
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 because they have all the facilities already in place.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay covers the necessary points but could benefit from clearer organization. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Ensure that more specific examples are used to illustrate your points. This helps to strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
general
Work on varying your sentence structures and checking for grammatical accuracy to enhance readability and professionalism.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively, which is a good approach to discussing the topic comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear introduction and a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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