Shops Should Not Be Allowed to Sell Food or Drinks that Have Been Scientifically Proven Bad for People’s Health

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In recent years,there has been a heated debate about whether
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the removed
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removed
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removal
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beverages
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of beverages
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and any
food
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which were
proved
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proven
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that will hurt our’s
health
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form
shop
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.In my view,I believe
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shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
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cannot
be allow
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be allowed
show examples
to sell
unheathy
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unhealthy
food
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,
while
Linking Words
food
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that will only hurt our’s
health
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when overcome amount should
be allow
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be allowed
show examples
to sell. On the one hand,unhealthy
food
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or
beverages
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will
cause
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some diseases
such
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as obesity and heart disease.
Therefore
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,
allow
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allowing
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selling
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the selling
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unhealthy
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of unhealthy
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food
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people
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to people
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who have the disease will become
commonly
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common
show examples
.As
the
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a
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result,it will
cause
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a lot
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of problem
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problem
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problems
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,
likewise
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,strain our healthcare system,decreasing average ages,
increasing
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and increasing
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rate
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the rate
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of crime.
For example
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,
the
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apply
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health
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treatment is expensive,not all
family
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families
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can afford it,so they will
doing
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do
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some illegal activities to make money for treatment.
Besides
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that,unhealthy
food
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also
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lead
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leads
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economic
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to economic
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issue
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,because unhealthy
food
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commonly has lower cost and higher profit.
Consequently
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,
Add an article
an industry
the industry
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industry
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industries
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that which producing
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health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
food
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will face
Correct article usage
a bankrupty
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bankrupty
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bankruptcy
crisis.
On the other hand
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,usually,unhealthy
food
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can’t hurt our
health
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,it only
establish
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establishes
show examples
when you eat overcome amount.
Moreover
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,
remove
Wrong verb form
removing
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all unhealthy
food
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and
beverages
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is unrealistic,over 99%
foods
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of foods
show examples
has
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have
show examples
added some chemical product for keeping that will hurt our
health
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if eating in
long
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the long
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term.
Addtionally
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Additionally
,
under
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with
show examples
recent technology,we don’t have
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the ablity
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ablity
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ability
to
removed
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remove
show examples
them because it will lead
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Fix the infinitive
to issue
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issue
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issues
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about
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of
show examples
lack of
food
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. In conclusion,
food
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and
beverages
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that will
cause
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serious
health
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Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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should be removed from the
shop
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,
bacause
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because
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a lot of
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issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
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will be extended.
Otherwise
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,if
food
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just
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cause
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causes
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slightly
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slight
show examples
health
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issue
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we should
allowed
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be allowed
allow
show examples
them
sell
Add the particle
to sell
show examples
in the
shop
Use synonyms
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
we can’t solve the
problem
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that
lead
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leads
show examples
from
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to
show examples
Add an article
a remove
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remove
Replace the word
removal
show examples
.I believe
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food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
that
Add a missing verb
are relevent
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relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
helthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
will solve in the future
accroding
Correct your spelling
according
technology develop.
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Regulations
  • accountability
  • retailers
  • public health
  • consumer choice
  • diet
  • banning
  • health education
  • awareness campaigns
  • economic impact
  • job losses
  • small businesses
  • complexity
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • quantity consumed
  • individual health conditions
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