The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The goal of science is to lead a happy life. I totally agree with

this

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view because it makes our lives more comfortable than in the past.

Firstly

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, scientists are gradually trying to discover new things which are beneficial for humans. Recently, transportation systems have been more developed because of their innovation.

As a result

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, people easily communicate with others.

Additionally

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, new technologies are revealed

due to

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science.

For example

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, some researchers conducted research and found that scientists are able to display computers, mobile phones, the internet, social media and so on, which makes human work easier than their ancient times. If anyone uses these, they will find any unknown information within a second and they rely their every sector on

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On the other hand

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, medicines are another important innovation. In the past men suffered many unknown diseases and they did not know remedies but nowadays researchers found many techniques and amends.

For instance

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, the USA doctors published some drugs, which protect the human body from cancer and AIDS.

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, they are not stopped at

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point. They are continuously trying for items.

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, Agriculture is another sector, where agriculturists have developed new high-yielding varieties, which supply our food demand in the whole world and people do not suffer

due to

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shortages of meals.

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land is gradually reducing, scientists show new objects, which increase our abilities. In conclusion, modern science has some disadvantages but its facilities give us more peace. If the government takes necessary steps for drawbacks, individuals have no complaints about

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Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on Mon May 06 2024

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Introduction

Consider expanding your introduction to more thoroughly present your thesis and how it will be discussed. This could include briefly mentioning the examples you plan to explore.

Body Paragraph Development

Try to develop your paragraphs more fully. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, followed by an explanation, example, and a concluding sentence that links back to your overall thesis.

Topic Relevance

Be careful with general statements. It's important to link your arguments explicitly to how science improves lives, making sure every point directly supports your main thesis.

Sentence Variety

Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and the flow of ideas. This also makes your essay more engaging for the reader.

Language Precision

Pay attention to precision in language usage. Avoid repetition of phrases and aim for more accurate word choices to convey your meanings more effectively.

Example Usage

You provided specific examples to support your statements, which strengthens your arguments.

Thesis Statement

You have a clear thesis statement that sets the direction for your essay.

Conclusion

Concluding paragraph summarises the essay's main points and restates your position, helping to reinforce your argument.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
technological advancements
medical discoveries
life-changing inventions
innovations
solutions to human problems
enhancing quality of life
improvement of healthcare
transportation
communication
agriculture
energy sectors
eradication of diseases
prolongation of life expectancy
global challenges
climate change
overpopulation
food security
developed world
underprivileged communities

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter, explain why you have changed your job describe your new job tell him/her your other news

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changes because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?