IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today's world subjects like Science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

A number of people believe that
history
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vital
subject
Use synonyms
 in
curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
other people
indicates
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicate
show examples
 that
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 world
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 like
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 are more critical than
history
Use synonyms
. Both of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached. On the one hand ,
history
Use synonyms
 is saying as an important
subject
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many people.
In other words
Linking Words
 , the learning of
history
Use synonyms
 could bring some benefits.
As a result
Linking Words
 ,
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
 will get to know about
ancestors
Correct pronoun usage
their ancestors
show examples
 and their livelihood.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , youth learn about past
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
,
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
 they have lived and
brought
Add a missing verb
were brought
show examples
 up.
However
Linking Words
, by getting
know
Fix the infinitive
to know
show examples
 they know how to live their life perfectly. To
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
,
to encounter
Change the verb form
encountering
show examples
future
Use synonyms
 problems can be reduced by getting
know
Fix the infinitive
to know
show examples
 the
history
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
subjects
Use synonyms
 like
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 are
vital
Correct quantifier usage
more vital
show examples
 than other
subjects
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , learning about
science
Use synonyms
 and
medical related
Add a hyphen
medical-related
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 will be useful in
future
Use synonyms
. Unlike in the past , new
dieseces
Correct your spelling
diseases
 are being created
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 , to adopt these we should give
importance
Use synonyms
 to
science
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
. On top of that ,
technology
Use synonyms
 has been
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 essential
subject
Use synonyms
 , as
enhancement
Correct article usage
the enhancement
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 is growing.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , folks are giving
importance
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to encounter
future
Use synonyms
 circumstances.
That is
Linking Words
 to say , nowadays ,
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 should be given
importance
Use synonyms
 in
curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
show examples
 is vital. To summarize ,
although
Linking Words
history
Use synonyms
 taught the past ancestor’s evolution
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the advancement of
Use synonyms
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 is growing , I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion , giving
importance
Use synonyms
 to
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 is
vital
Correct quantifier usage
more vital
show examples
,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 giving
importance
Use synonyms
 to
History
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: