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Band 4.5

Many students do not finish school why is this and how can problem be solved?

#students #school
I strongly agree with
this
 statement that many
students
 do not finish
school
. There are so many reasons
besides
people
 who do not complete their
education
. Some
students
 do not go to
school
 because they are not interested in it. There are communities who do college studying because they do not have money.
People
 after completing
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 high
school
 join jobs. Most of the age poor
people
 do not send their children more
education
. Some community thinks university
study
 is book
education
 only. Some communities even things that females should not get an
education
. In countries like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 so many parents think that sending children outside a
nation
 or a city is not safe. The problem can be solved by Providing free
education
 to those who are good in
study
 but who do not have that money. The importance of the
study
 should be explained to those who are not aware of it. It should be tote that
education
 is the foundation of a
nation
. The government should create safety for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
students
 who are taking
study
 out of a city or state. Countries should provide scholarships to
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 for studying in another country. The
school
 loan process should be made easy. The government should take action against the children who are not doing
study
 properly. By taking some major steps by a government like
students
 who will their
education
 will get loans easily,
this
 will be even helpful to the country
as well as
 age. As
education
 is right for every person so all should finish their studies. As a
nation
 will take steps to improve
school
 or college, it can be said that 70% of
people
 will complete their schooling.
Submitted by purvametaliya99  on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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