IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

All over the world people spend more time on sports and exercises these days. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages? Give your opinion with supporting examples from your own experience.

#world #people #time #sports #exercises #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times,
people
Use synonyms
 are spending more
time
Use synonyms
 doing physical
activities
Use synonyms
 to keep themselves healthy. I think it is a healthy development because it's extremely important to keep ourselves fit so that we can enjoy all the other things in our life. I will
further
Linking Words
 explain my viewpoint in the below essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I think engaging ourselves in a lot of physical activity is very beneficial for our physical health because ,in the past,
people
Use synonyms
 used to work very few hours and exercise more, but now a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 are overworking themselves and
also
Linking Words
 with the evolution of computers,
people
Use synonyms
 are mostly working in closed environments without any physical
activities
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, to avoid developing some health conditions like obesity, etc, it is important to get involved in
such
Linking Words
 practices.
Moreover
Linking Words
, being active and healthy
also
Linking Words
 increases one's life span and helps them avoid several health problems in their lives. That being said, some
people
Use synonyms
 spend more hours in the gym and tend to become more concerned about their appearance.
This
Linking Words
 can make them pursue independent lives and ignore personal obligations.
Thus
Linking Words
, a certain balance is necessary. Other than that, it has a lot of beneficial effects. Some
people
Use synonyms
 see these
activities
Use synonyms
 as a way of releasing work stress or as a useful hobby. To keep ourselves stress-free from family problems, job tensions etc., we can engage in these kinds of
activities
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, many IT employees have access to many of these facilities and
also
Linking Words
 their lifestyle revolves around partying on weekends and so. Since their work involves fewer physical
activities
Use synonyms
, I think it's a good practice that many
people
Use synonyms
 use these facilities now to spend their free
time
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of getting involved in partying or so. In conclusion, I think certainly spending more
time
Use synonyms
 doing physical
activities
Use synonyms
 than needed would be a waste of
time
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
 with the right balance, these might have many advantages.
Hence
Linking Words
, I think it's a positive change that we spend more
time
Use synonyms
 doing physical exercises. Rather than spending
time
Use synonyms
 on other
activities
Use synonyms
 involving fun or travel, we can certainly spend a good amount of
time
Use synonyms
 doing exercises.
Submitted by hemaecengineer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: