Some people believe that sports in University are essential for teamwork and discipline, while other believe that student should focus on academics. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #sports #university #teamwork #discipline #student #focus #academics

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Sports

are an integral part of our life. For many people, It's a hobby and a very powerful tool for development. So, some people believe that

sports

in universities improve skills

such

as teamwork and discipline

while

others consider that

students

should pay more attention to academics

instead

. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion

at the end

To begin

with, team

sports

give you an opportunity to develop your communication skills. When you play with the team it's necessary to coordinate your movements with other members of the team. After all, that's a real experience of teamwork.

Therefore

, many professional sportsmen become good public speakers in our country.

Moreover

, sport is about hard work and self-discipline. You need to train regularly to achieve good results.

Therefore

sports

in universities help

students

to improve

this

skill.

On the other hand

, the main reason why

students

enter university is to get knowledge.

Students

could enjoy

sports

outside the university and for many

students

sports

lessons are terrible. They don't want to waste time on

this

activity as it's not necessary for professional development and they prefer academics

instead

Also

, not every university could give a choice in a variety of

sports

. It's even could force hate to

sports

among the

students

. We

also

shouldn't forget that people like different things. There are

also

other ways to develop teamwork and discipline in academics and it provides knowledge that

students

could use in the future to get a good job. In conclusion, I want to say that universities should allow

students

to choose what they want to study and provide a huge variety of

sports

. It's the best approach for

students

Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on Tue Jun 25 2024

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introduction

It would be more impactful if you start directly with the topic sentence in your introduction. For example: 'In universities, the debate about the importance of sports versus academics is ongoing.'

main points support

Ensure to add a few more relevant and specific examples or statistics to support your points more effectively.

conclusion

In the conclusion, restate your main points more clearly and avoid adding new information. For example: 'In conclusion, while sports can undoubtedly build valuable skills such as teamwork and discipline, allowing students to choose their own focus in university will likely yield the best personal and professional outcomes.'

transitions

Try to have smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the coherence. Phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'On the contrary,' would help.

clarity

The essay presents both perspectives clearly and provides a reasonable personal opinion at the end.

balanced viewpoint

You did a good job mentioning the benefits of sports and the main purpose of academic knowledge in universities.

relevance

The points about teamwork, discipline, and alternative ways to develop these skills in academics are very relevant and strong.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

collaborative skills
physical fitness
healthy lifestyle
time management
stress relief
balanced life
academic achievement
career opportunities
well-rounded education
over-emphasis
academic performance
discipline
teamwork
engagement
extracurricular activities

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Some people believe that sports in University are essential for teamwork and discipline, while other believe that student should focus on academics. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Parents can punish their children when they do something wrong, agree or not?

n1) Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

in some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. what problems does this cause and what are some of possible solutions?

Some people think everyone should be a vegtarian , becouse we do not need to eat meat to stay helthy . To waht extent do you agree or disagree