In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In many places, children are involved in different paid activities. Some would say that
this
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should not be allowed,
while
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others would argue that it is an important experience.
This
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essay agrees with the latter point, despite the fact that young ages have to be used for gathering knowledge, practical work may teach how to be a responsible person and prepare for adult life. On the one hand, the developing brain of a child is agile enough to learn a lot of theoretical knowledge and it is crucial not to miss
this
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period and use these learning abilities. The older person becomes the less free neural connections he has.
As a result
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, an adult has strong beliefs and less wonder about the world.
This
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influences his ability to consume any new information.
For example
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, average language courses for teenagers
last
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from six to twelve months,
while
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adults require a one-to-one approach and significantly more time to study a new language.
However
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, I believe that experience is the best teacher.
On the other hand
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, adolescents may learn what it means to be a responsible person and become ready for their future during a real job. There is no school subject which could explain how to live
this
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life and there is no way to gain any experience without practice. The theory could not cover all the aspects of practical work.
For instance
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, pupils from the technical school in Almaty are well known for their engineering skills even before their undergraduate studies because they have mandatory part-time jobs as interns in top IT companies.
For
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this
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reason, I think it is better to get employed earlier. In conclusion,
although
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, some people are against the idea of working children because they have to study, I agree that any adolescent should be able to apply for a job because it could help him in his future life.
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task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all aspects of the prompt, providing a balanced discussion of both views and clearly stating your opinion. Make sure to include more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, consider using transition words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas and support the paragraph organization.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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