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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#tourists #caribbean #island #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of travellers knowing a Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 which
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 visited over 7 years from 2010 to 2007. Units are measured in numbers.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in general, including
staying
Correct pronoun usage
those staying
show examples
 on cruise ships and staying on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
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, increase over the period given. the total number of people
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Cribbean
Correct article usage
the Cribbean
show examples
island
Use synonyms
 rose steadily and displays the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
pick of the graph over 7 years. At the start of the period,
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on cruise
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
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 was the most popular, which was replaced by
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 from 2015 to the final years. With regard to the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of total travellers, it began at one to the
pick
Correct your spelling
peak
show examples
 with 3.5 in 2017 despite some slight
fluctuatios
Correct your spelling
fluctuations
fluctuation
fluctuates
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure reached a steady state
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2015 to 2016 around 2,7
visitors
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 closed the year of 2017 with a positive rate.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
Visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
Visitors
show examples
 staying on the cruise, started close to zero,
remain
Correct word choice
and remain
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 relatively stable
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2010 to 2012 before
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 upward trend to about 2 in 2017.
Likewise
Linking Words
, approximately one person
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stayed
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
island
Use synonyms
 in the first year after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 the figure fluctuated slightly even though maintain
1.5
Change preposition
at 1.5
show examples
 in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Submitted by suellend.cunha on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words island, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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