Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Are non-academic
subjects
Use synonyms
really as important as the academic ones? Some people argue that it is essential to teach
children
Use synonyms
in schools
subjects
Use synonyms
like music, arts, and drama, especially the younger ones,
while
Linking Words
others believe that time consumed on
such
Linking Words
subjects
Use synonyms
could be better used teaching more academia. In my opinion, allowing boys and girls to explore
such
Linking Words
subjects
Use synonyms
would be very useful. The main point held against teaching these
subjects
Use synonyms
is that they take up a big portion of the young students’ time without any academic relation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if students get overly involved, that could even negatively impact their academic performance.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some students show no interest, and with most schools having mandatory attendance in classes, some
children
Use synonyms
feel forced and would rather do something else if given the choice.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, non-academic
subjects
Use synonyms
are, for the most part, creativity-oriented;
therefore
Linking Words
, they have the ability to offer students the space to express their creative side and discover their passions.
In addition
Linking Words
,
subjects
Use synonyms
of that kind can be a nice change of pace, allowing
children
Use synonyms
to do activities they might consider fun. Drawing funny faces or playing an instrument they enjoy could recharge them and enable them to continue the rest of the school day without feeling depleted.
To sum up
Linking Words
, creative
subjects
Use synonyms
and
if
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
we should keep on teaching them in schools is still a topic for debate, as both sides provide valid points, but I personally believe that non-academic
subjects
Use synonyms
must continue to exist providing our
children
Use synonyms
with the creative space they need to discover their passion.
Submitted by immrali7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention studies or real-world instances where non-academic subjects have positively impacted students' overall development.
task achievement
Maintain a balanced approach by slightly elaborating on the opposing viewpoints to provide a more comprehensive discussion on why you might disagree with them significantly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Although your essay reads well, connection words such as 'furthermore', 'nevertheless', etc., can help guide the reader more fluidly through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a well-structured introduction and conclusion, effectively setting the stage and summarizing your key points.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning throughout.
task achievement
You provide a clear expression of your opinion and support it well with arguments, even though further examples would enhance it.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: