Young people spend too much money on expensive fashion brands and gadgets these days, many of which are not necessary.

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Nowadays, young generations spend a high amount of

money

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on high-priced

brands

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and

gadgets

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which are not necessary.

Linking Words

This

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In this

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underneath essay, I will present two main reasons why young people spend a lot of

money

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on high-priced

brands

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and

gadgets

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. Young individuals are heavily influenced by

ads

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on social

media

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To begin

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with, there are many

ads

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on social

media

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that are available for adults to

gain

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the good things they want. Advertisements provided on social

media

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are all branded goods which could make someone look more attractive.

Moreover

Linking Words

, these

brands

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displayed in the

ads

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are used by well-known individuals,

further

Linking Words

encouraging the young to buy these items without considering the price.

Also

Linking Words

, they could spend a high amount of

money

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to purchase some expensive

brands

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that are provided on social

media

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Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

issue, there is an increasing number of consumer debts and another one is impulse buying. The young are in a critical phase in building their identity. First of all, young people are more open to trying different

behaviors

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behaviours

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and appearances to find their identity, or

in other words

Linking Words

gain

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self-concept and self-esteem.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the more they

gain

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branded things, the more they

gain

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self-esteem and recognition from

surroundings

Correct pronoun usage

their surroundings

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Therefore

Linking Words

, they could spend a lot of time on

gadgets

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looking for a figure to emulate their interesting appearances and famous

life-style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

net

Add an article

the net

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or other

media

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As a result

Linking Words

, young people are easily influenced and developed by peers and they have emotional anxiety

such

Linking Words

as FOMO (fear of missing out). To wrap up, young generations tend to spend a high amount of

money

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on branded items and

gadgets

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more than other necessities. They did

this

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

their heavy influence by

ads

Use synonyms

on social networks and

critical

Correct article usage

the critical

show examples

phases to build their identity.

gabriellasada24Fri Jul 07 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Young people spend too much money on expensive fashion brands and gadgets these days, many of which are not necessary.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do? Thao

some people say that a lot of scientific research done today is a waste of time and money. what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g: goods, services, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

In many countries, there is shortage of housing due to growing population. Some people argue that new towns should be built in the country side, others argue for the regeneration of cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of building new towns in the country?