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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the electricity production in France from 1990 and 2000

The graph shows the electricity production in France from 1990 and 2000
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The line graph shows the
electricity
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 produced in
France
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France's
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 four
typ
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types
 of
powers
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power
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(thermal, nuclear, hydroelectric and renewable ) between 1980 and 2010.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 nuclear was by far the most important
sources
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source
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 of
electricity
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production
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 over the period shown
while
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 the lowest amount of
production
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 was provided by renewable. In 1980 nuclear was the main
types
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type
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 of
electricity
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 in France, making it around 380
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terawatt
Change to a plural noun
terawatts
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. In that period about 70
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terawatt
Fix the agreement mistake
terawatts
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Change preposition
of
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electiecity
Correct your spelling
electricity
choose
Wrong verb form
chosen
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 by humans
hydroelectric
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for hydroelectric
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 power
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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, the least popular means of
electricity
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production
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 thermal accounted for 49
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terawatt
Change to a plural noun
terawatts
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. Between 1995 and 2000,
electricity
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production
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 nuclear rose dramatically to a peak of about 400
terawatt
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Use synonyms
electricity
Change preposition
of electricity
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 within 5 years
production
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thermal
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of thermal
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 and hydroelectric declined to a low of about 70 and 49 terawatts respectively. After 10
year
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years
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, nuclear overtook all three
electricity
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production
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
, renewable
electricity
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production
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 saw only a small rise to approximately 25
terawatt
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 hours by 2010.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, production, terawatt with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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