Social media addiction: Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more people are spending not only their free time
as well as
their working time scrolling through social media platforms. I strongly agree that these sites have a negative impact on both individuals and society, and I am going to explain my reasons in the following paragraphs.
, social news makes human beings lose face-to-face connection. Community tend to pay attention only to their little devices and they forget that there are human beings around them, who are waiting to be heard.
, society is less and less united ,and everyone has their own life on their phone,
Correct word choice
or on
show examples
a social networking site
as Instagram.
For example
, nowadays ,a group of friends can go out and everyone can scroll on TikTok and laugh at completely different videos, without talking to each other .
, there are people walking on the street and looking at their phones who do not realise they are on the street, surrounded by civilization.
, social platforms make people procrastinate.
individuals are working , if they see a new message on a site , even though it is not that important, they open it instantly. These communication apps are big distracting factors and they influence humanity badly and keep distracting workers from their urgent tasks by giving them little dopamine hits.
For instance
, a girl who has 10 new unopened messages meanwhile she is studying will stop learning and will open them , letting herself get distracted. In conclusion, I believe that social news platforms have a bad influence on society ,not only because they lose human connexions,but
because they slacken awareness and distract them from being productive.
Submitted by zaineajessica on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting arguments that support the view that social media has a negative impact on individuals and society. However, the examples used are not clearly linked to the argument and could be more specific and relevant to the point being made.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a somewhat logical structure, but there is room for improvement in terms of linking ideas and providing a clearer introduction and conclusion. The flow of ideas is disrupted by the lack of effective transitions and a strong concluding paragraph.
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