In many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth over all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.
In many
countries
, governments prioritize economic growth rather than all other concerns. The advantages of doing so are an increase in people’s average income and the maturity of society, while
the main disadvantages are environmental problems such
as global warming, and pollution.
If the government places the most importance on improving the economy, an increase in wages and the improvement of society are expected; if the economy grows, both the income of individuals and the government increase, which will allow further
investments by individuals in education and by governments in scientific research, and this
makes good circulation to promote the maturity of society. For instance
, after World War 2, Japan prioritized economic advancement and education. This
has created many successful companies, and scientific technologies have advanced significantly, making Japan one of the richest nations in the world. This
has promoted people’s lifestyles more comfortable with higher incomes than ever before: the same thing can be true for other East Asian nations.
However
, there are some disadvantages for nations with economic success, such
as global warming and contamination. More countries
become rich, more places are industrialized, and this
creates more carbon dioxide and more pollution problems because heating or cooling houses and buildings consumes a lot of electricity, which is connected to more carbon dioxide produced by energy plants, and factories emit a lot of polluted air and water. For example
, the United States and China are famous for being the largest contributors to global warming and contamination, both of which comprise most leading factories worldwide.
Likewise
, the maturity of the nation is closely connected to the environmental concerns.
In conclusion, although
in many countries
, governments prioritize economic improvement over all other concerns to make their own countries
rich and competitive, there are disadvantages in environmental issues such
as global warming and pollution in the world.Submitted by kana_ayaki on
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coherence cohesion
While the essay is strong overall, the introduction could be more engaging to capture the reader's interest from the very beginning.
task achievement
Try to elaborate slightly more on the disadvantages to give a more in-depth analysis. This will strengthen the task response further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of prioritizing economic growth, providing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear main idea and is supported with relevant examples, such as the case of Japan and the environmental issues in the U.S. and China.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, giving a good overview and summary of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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