the graph below illustrates the demand for electrical power in england during typical days in winter and summer and how electric current is used in average English home.

#demand #power #england #winter #summer #english #home

The line graph displays the electricity demand in

Change the capitalization

England

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england

Change the capitalization

England

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on typical days in winter and summer

along with

it the piechart illustrates how

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

electricity is utilized in

average

Correct article usage

the average

show examples

Change the capitalization

English

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english

Change the capitalization

English

show examples

household

Overall

,electricity demand in winter fluctuates throughout the day

whereas

in summer it remains the same.

while

most English homes have used more electric

power

for heating rooms, and heating water and the second highest usage was in electric appliances like ovens,kettles, and washing machines. In winter, nearly 35,000

units

have used in 0

hrs

and rise to around 40000

units

in 3hrs and saw a steady increase till it reaches a peak at around 45000

units

in 21

hrs

and saw a sharp decrease towards the end of the day. In ,contrast the

power

consumption in summer begins at over 15000

units

at 0hrs where it reaches 20000

units

between 12 and 15

hrs

hereby fluctuates and ,

finally

it reaches nearly 20000

units

and followed by over 15000

units

at the end

of the day. Britain utilizes the most

power

over 50% of its

power

in heating rooms and heating water

However

the second largest energy consumption is in electric appliances.

for instance

, ovens,kettles,washing machines and lighting ,TV, radio, vacuum cleaners,food mixers, and electric tools remain at 15%.

Submitted by manoj.ysg1999 on Fri Jul 07 2023

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Vocabulary: Replace the words power, units, hrs with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fluctuates" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

208 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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the graph below illustrates the demand for electrical power in england during typical days in winter and summer and how electric current is used in average English home.

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to success academically.as a result some people believe that non academic subjects such as physical education and cookery should be removed from the school syllabus so that children concentrate on academic work

Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums, zoo and concerts and sometimes even to other countries. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?

Most employers do job interviews before offering a position to a person. Do you think this is the best way to do it, or are there better alternatives? What is the best method of choosing employees in your opinion?

Nowadays, children play less with others and this has an impart on their development. What are the reasons for this? Does it have a good or a bad effect on children?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'on ebig traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is ? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?