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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #technology #people #work #workplace #e #g #home #mobility
Nowadays, emerging technologies make it possible for people to do their
work
 anywhere,
such
 as at
home
, when
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, or for business purposes. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when compared with working from
office
Add an article
the office
an office
show examples
, there are more benefits, like maintaining
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
 moods and emotions, than drawbacks,
such
 as being able to communicate with other coworkers and reducing misunderstandings, to working outside the workplace. On the one hand, working in flexible places could increase the employee's mental health. Workers should not use mobility to go forth and back from their
office
 and
home
, which can affect their emotions and make them feel tired when they arrive at their
office
 or
home
due to
 the traffic jams. Working at
home
 with their smart devices could be a solution to
this
 issue and help to maintain their mood and emotions.
For example
, working in the capital city, where many people are busiest and there are always traffic jams during
office
 hours, makes people stressed, and working at
home
 could be a solution to
this
 problem.
On the other hand
, when the job requires more teamwork and collaboration, it is important to
work
 at the
office
. It is because it makes it easy to communicate with other coworkers and reduces misperceptions and misunderstandings.
For example
, marketing positions need more collaboration and communication with other coworkers in their teams. So, it would be better if the marketing team worked in the
office
 to easily communicate and collaborate with others.
In addition
, if there is a problem or target to achieve, it can be easy to catch up, meet, and discuss it immediately. I personally value maintaining mental health
above all
 other factors when choosing a place to
work
.
Therefore
, I believe that working anywhere is a much better place to
work
, especially for workers who
work
 and live in the capital city because of the traffic jams and busiest city. I
also
 believe that most citizens nowadays prefer to do their
work
 outside their workplace
due to
 flexibility and comfort.
Submitted by frens on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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