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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The given bar chart illustrates the outcomes of
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 estimation, which did in five urban areas in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia, regarding the consumption and tendency of using
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the citizens in four towns have gone considerably to a cafeteria for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 month more than buying fresh or instant
coffee
Use synonyms
except
Add the preposition
forexcept
show examples
 residents in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Adelaide.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the other prominent pattern is that fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 users are low in
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 five
location
Change to a plural noun
locations
show examples
. Looking at these details, the customers, who purchased
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
 month, display a level of lower than 45% in all five zones. A glance at,
this
Linking Words
 changing pattern indicates
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
 compared with other utilization rates.
According to
Linking Words
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
show examples
, in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 30 days, the locals, who live in
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
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, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart, have used
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest percentage
a
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 for hot drinks,
such
Linking Words
 as
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea. It
taked
Correct your spelling
took
show examples
 a maximum level of 65%
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
 between Melbourne and Hobart. Buyers of fresh and
instance
Replace the word
instant
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 could not
passed
Change the verb form
pass
be passed
show examples
 above 55% during
prior
Add an article
the prior
show examples
 month.
However
Linking Words
, the individuals, who spend money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
, have conducted relatively a moderate level over
than
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
others. Apparently,
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 only one occasion, instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 buyers may have overcome the
coffee
Use synonyms
 shop users by a little amount. It would be recorded as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
50%.
Submitted by yohanigallage99 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
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