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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

#internet #people #platform #believe #books
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The
Internet
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
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 made the globe smaller and facilitated learning, it
also
Linking Words
 shows the whole world whatever new,
due to
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this
Linking Words
 quality majority of people make use of the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 for seeking and learning
such
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 as reading
Correct article usage
the
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latest things found
furthermore
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 awareness about solutions for common and big problems, but it
is disagreed
Change to the active voice
disagrees
has disagreed
show examples
 to replace the
books
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 by
internet
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. The benefit of
books
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 and the bad influence of
internet
Use synonyms
 displaying
devices
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 and platforms we use to learn will prove
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Firstly
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,
books
Use synonyms
 are greatly beneficial for ongoing remembrance and for people’s health.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 reading through
books
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 will not affect the eyes as soon as mobile
devices
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, and it is less likely to cause
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
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 and eye strain,
nevertheless
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, It can make one more involved with the topic
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hence
Correct word choice
and hence
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 can provide healthy reading moments and save the body healthy.
Therefore
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books
Use synonyms
 can’t be replaced with the net.
Secondly
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, mobile
devices
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 have a bad health impact .
For instance
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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they result in eye problems and sleeping struggles
as well as
Linking Words
 psychiatric issues,
while
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 a healthy body and an organised sleep time are the fundamental qualities individual must care about.
This
Linking Words
 is why the net can’t take
Use synonyms
books
Correct article usage
a books
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 position. And
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
,finally
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to sum up
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, the network is not as healthy as
books
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 ,so learning through
books
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 is a principle that should never be vanished. As a
recommendation
Add a comma
,recommendation
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 it is better to export PDF files and
books
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 in
devices
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 to papers and
hand
Correct your spelling
handbooks
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 so one can read with no bad influence on his health.
Submitted by bashdar.hussen on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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