IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Social media addiction: Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #addiction #people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
In the modern world, social
media
 addiction is one of the most challenging issues of our
time
. Social
media
 sites
such
 as
Facebook
 are always blamed for their negative impact on both
individuals
 and the community.
However
, others suppose that internet platforms bring
people
 together and have a positive influence on humanity. I fully agree that social
media
 creates a vicious cycle in our surroundings and I will explain in detail below paragraphs
Firstly
, Internet forums
such
 as
Facebook
 lead
individuals
 to depression and anxiety.
For example
, a recent study by WHO showed that young adults who use
Facebook
 daily basis are more depressed and anxious than others.
Furthermore
, with the use of AI, these companies are trying new ways to keep
people
 engaged and create a cycle where
individuals
 spend
time
 comparing their life with others and which leads to depression and loneliness.
Secondly
, the Use of these websites makes the community lack
people
 skills.
For example
, more and more kids are now finding it
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard
time
 to make friends in person as they spend much of their
time
 on social
media
 websites and miss learning key interpersonal skills. As
such
 it can be concluded that, the adverse impact of social
media
 sites
such
 as
Facebook
 on
individuals
 and groups both in their private and public life far outweighs their positive impact as they lead to depression and make
people
 less social in real life.
Submitted by vtiwari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: