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Band 5.5

Some people believe that the solution of overwaight is to invoaled more sport class while other don't To what extent do you agree

#people #overwaight #sport #class
There is no doubt that these days
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
use
smartphones
almost
Change preposition
in almost
show examples
 every aspect of their lives.
furthermore
,
smartphones
 completely play an important role in
children
's lives .So some people think
that is
 fairly an awful habit,
whereas
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believe that it has significant benefits if they
use
 them in a magnificent way. I agree with those who argue that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in many ways. Eventually, in
this
 essay, I am going to make a comparison between the
positives
Change the noun form
positive
show examples
 side and
negatives
Change the noun form
negative
show examples
 side
then
 I will discuss them and draw my personal conclusions. In terms of
positive
Add an article
the positive
show examples
 side, I would argue
that is
 one of the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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most essential benefits
communication
Change preposition
of communication
show examples
 skills that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may develop their culture and public life the main reason provided to support
this
 claim is that to communicate with other people very
will
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
. To illustrate, there is a study
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 one of the researchers at King Fahd University, which is located in Saudi Arabia, states that 29 ٪؜of
children
 who has the ability to
use
smartphones
 in a brilliant way their cultures are higher than those who do not
use
smartphones
.
However
, some people strongly believe are a few disadvantages of
use
Wrong verb form
using
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smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
.
Firstly
, the most negative
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
when
Add a missing verb
is when
show examples
 the
children
 spend too much time on them.
In other words
, some kids
use
 them
approximately
Change preposition
for approximately
show examples
 more than 5 hours. So, it is
probably
Change the word
probable
show examples
 that it will influence
this
 in their lives.
Secondly
, some parents do not know what their
children
 do
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their phones because some
children
use
 them in
negative
Change the article
a negative
show examples
 way. To be clear, one of
negatives
Correct article usage
the negatives
show examples
 things a few
children
 play video games and they try to make
Add an article
a relationship
the relationship
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 or get to know others maybe the person how the
children
 play with, maybe he or she is not a peaceful or
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 person and I hope parents will increase their interest in their
children
. In conclusion, after a careful
analyze
Replace the word
analysis
show examples
 of the pros and cons, I wholeheartedly believe that the advantages of
this
 article outweigh the disadvantage if the
children
 know how to
use
 them.
Submitted by sammsh4321 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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