IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people.

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It is generally believed by society that
money
Use synonyms
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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people
Use synonyms
 various opportunities, one of which is helping those in need. I completely agree that wealthy
people
Use synonyms
 can provide financial support to
people
Use synonyms
 who are facing
with
Change preposition
apply
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certain monetary problems.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 with high
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
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 can help children and adults with serious health issues through charity organizations. There are thousands of
people
Use synonyms
 in the world with severe diseases, which require incredibly expensive medical equipment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, few
people
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 can afford
buying
Change the verb form
to buy
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 medicine themselves
therefore
Linking Words
prosperous
Add an article
a prosperous
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 group of
population
Add an article
the population
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 can donate their
money
Use synonyms
 to
charity
Fix the agreement mistake
charities
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 which
track
Change the verb form
tracks
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people
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 in need and resend required sums of
money
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 to the hospitals.
For instance
Linking Words
, as far as I know, Angelina Jolie is famous for sending a great portion of her earnings to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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charity organizations thereby saving lives.
In addition
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 mortal diseases or accidents many children lose their parents
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 being left without a trustee.
As a result
Linking Words
, these youngsters find themselves in orphanages. From my point of view, they need financial support to get appropriate education to be able to find a job in the future and to enter adulthood without much
difficulties
Fix the agreement mistake
difficulty
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.
For example
Linking Words
, rich
people
Use synonyms
 can create
grands
Correct your spelling
grand
 for children of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school age
Add a hyphen
school-age
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 who have lost parents or the only breadwinner of the family to motivate them
study
Add the particle
to study
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 hard.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 is a key factor
of
Change preposition
in
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 providing assistance to
people
Use synonyms
 who have encountered problems and cannot tackle them on their own.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealthy
  • financial resources
  • philanthropy
  • charitable organizations
  • donations
  • fundraising
  • support
  • initiatives
  • contribute
  • fulfillment
  • purpose
  • selfless
  • altruistic
  • prioritize
  • personal gain
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