Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #countries #travel #say #information #tv #internet

Nowadays, there is ongoing debate about the best way of learning about different cultures.

While

some people support getting information

Change preposition

through

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online media and television broadcasts, others believe it is better to grab them by personalising travelling to visit the place. I personally agree with the second statement. On the one hand, watchers have professional research and documentaries

Change preposition

from

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various sources including television programmes, podcasts, and social media channels

with

Change preposition

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low

Correct article usage

a low

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cost.

Moreover

, it is comfortable and available all year round without struggling

due to

the weather seasons.

For instance

, The Loi Krathong festival, known for its water ceremony

with

Correct word choice

and with

show examples

stunning culture of Thailand, is held in November which is the monsoon season in several parts of Thailand, so someone could not have a vacation at the perfect time.

On the other hand

, there are many reasons why travelling is better than knowing the country by screens.

Firstly

, Travellers would immerse themselves into the city from their own perspectives with a variety of activities including enjoying the food, dancing along to the folk music and thinking as the locals thought.

Secondly

, they would experience both magnificent and awful scenes which foster their learning and understanding insight

instead

of film-makers' eyes.

Consequently

, staying in the country helps to embrace that valuable learning. In conclusion, watchers can access information

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from

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various channels of the particular country anytime

whereas

travellers probably memorise and interact better. In my opinion, in order to know the culture and history, we should eat, enjoy and talk with locals.

Submitted by bhawatr on Sat Jul 08 2023

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Task Achievement

Your essay displays a clear understanding of both views and effectively presents arguments for each. However, ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly address the task prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good use of linking words and transitions to connect ideas. Work on structuring your introduction and conclusion to effectively frame your discussion.

Lexical Resource

Your lexical resource is strong, with a wide range of vocabulary used effectively. Continue to showcase your vocabulary by accurately and precisely expressing your ideas.

Grammatical Range

Your essay contains a variety of sentence structures and demonstrates a good command of grammar. Work on enhancing the complexity of your sentences to further demonstrate grammatical range.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Interactions
Tourism
Local economies
Cross-cultural understanding
Carbon emissions
Accessibility
Diverse perspectives
Authenticity
Reliability
Virtual reality
Immersive experiences

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Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that should focus on subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest discuss both side and give your opinion.

some children spend hours every on smartphones. Why is this case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Task 2 ; --- Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?