Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, there is ongoing debate about the best way of learning about different cultures.
While
some people support getting information by
online media and television broadcasts, others believe it is better to grab them by personalising travelling to visit the place. I personally agree with the second statement.
On the one hand, watchers have professional research and documentaries Change preposition
through
by
various sources including television programmes, podcasts, and social media channels Change preposition
from
with
Change preposition
at
low
cost. Correct article usage
a low
Moreover
, it is comfortable and available all year round without struggling due to
the weather seasons. For instance
, The Loi Krathong festival, known for its water ceremony with
stunning culture of Thailand, is held in November which is the monsoon season in several parts of Thailand, so someone could not have a vacation at the perfect time.
Correct word choice
and with
On the other hand
, there are many reasons why travelling is better than knowing the country by screens. Firstly
, Travellers would immerse themselves into the city from their own perspectives with a variety of activities including enjoying the food, dancing along to the folk music and thinking as the locals thought. Secondly
, they would experience both magnificent and awful scenes which foster their learning and understanding insight instead
of film-makers' eyes. Consequently
, staying in the country helps to embrace that valuable learning.
In conclusion, watchers can access information by
various channels of the particular country anytime Change preposition
from
whereas
travellers probably memorise and interact better. In my opinion, in order to know the culture and history, we should eat, enjoy and talk with locals.Submitted by bhawatr on
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Task Achievement
Your essay displays a clear understanding of both views and effectively presents arguments for each. However, ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly address the task prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good use of linking words and transitions to connect ideas. Work on structuring your introduction and conclusion to effectively frame your discussion.
Lexical Resource
Your lexical resource is strong, with a wide range of vocabulary used effectively. Continue to showcase your vocabulary by accurately and precisely expressing your ideas.
Grammatical Range
Your essay contains a variety of sentence structures and demonstrates a good command of grammar. Work on enhancing the complexity of your sentences to further demonstrate grammatical range.