IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some claim that studying abroad has great benefits for a student’s home country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

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The education program of study in another country. They can offer a lot of benefits that you have never had before in your hometown. They would claim a new experience and a new community.
However
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,
this
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 program is very expensive in some situations.
In addition
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, if we want to know about the advantages or drawbacks of staying in aboard. It depends on our opinion. The advantages of studying in another country. It will give you a better education
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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than the countryside. In many
Change to a plural noun
countries
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country
Add a comma
country,
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 they will
had
Change the verb form
have
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 their
culture
Correct word choice
own culture
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 and local languages. You can adapt yourself
in
Change preposition
to
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 a different culture.
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Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 if you try to learn
the
Correct article usage
a
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 new language, you will have a native community that would be a good connection.
Then
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 they can give a lot
experience
Change preposition
of experience
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. On the other side. Disadvantages of studying abroad. Many students abroad get homesick because they can’t adapt to their personal life in different environments.
Moreover
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, the cost of studying abroad is high. Some parents can not afford a lot of money. Except you have a scholarship from the government but if your score is not good enough. You can not get
this
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 bursary. And some scholarships had many conditions. You have to read it in detail and carefully. In my opinion, studying abroad is a morally correct choice. Because it gives you a new way of you that you can learn with it.
In addition
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, you can have a new friendship that would make you learn more from them.
For example
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, you can learn a language from
native
Add an article
a native
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 speaker.
Then
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 your language will be developed. I think
this
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 experience will change your life that you never imagined.

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task achievement
Consider improving the clarity of your argument by ensuring each paragraph clearly supports your thesis statement. Each main point should be developed with more detail and clearer examples.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use proper grammar and vocabulary consistently. For instance, phrases like 'you will have a native community' might be more naturally expressed as 'you will have access to a native community.'
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion about studying abroad and included relevant points regarding both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
The essay structure generally follows the introduction, body, and conclusion format, which is important for coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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