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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.’ How far do you share this viewpoint?

#everybody #amount #income #support #charity
It is often said that everyone ought to contribute a fixed chunk of their income to
charity
. It seems to me that forcing everybody to donate is not a good idea, no matter how much we might admire the idea, I will explain why in
this
 essay. On the one hand, not every individual can afford to give a certain portion of their income to
charity
 because each individual has a different income level.
Therefore
, the sheer cost of living does not leave enough savings for many
people
. The main obstacle would appear to be the number of middle-class
people
, which covers approximately half of the world's population. Those who are living on a budget can barely meet their own needs.
Thus
, it will be very difficult or even impossible for them to give some of their money to
charity
's sake.
Furthermore
, some
people
 might prefer to save for their retirement so that they would be able to live their retirement with dignity without being dependent on their offspring or the government.
On the other hand
, if everybody contributed a fixed amount of their expenses towards
charity
, it could improve the lives of
people
 living in poverty, and there are many who need financial support, like the homeless, poor, or orphans.
However
, philanthropy cannot be forced; it depends on their willingness and earnings.
To conclude
, the prohibitive cost of living and the need to save for one’s own retirement
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not leave enough money for most citizens to donate.
Hence
, it might be an injustice to force them to give away a fixed amount to support
charity
.
However
,
this
 needs to be supplemented in various ways,
such
 as through donations of blood, organs, and old clothing.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt but needs to develop the ideas more thoroughly and provide stronger examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, it needs to improve the development of main points and provide more relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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