IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, countries are becoming more and more similar to each other because
products
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 are available to
people
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 anywhere in the world.
While
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 some
people
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 claim that there are some advantages to the current trend, others believe that the more significant disadvantage is the transportation of these
products
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. On the one hand, in my opinion, the potential advantage is that tourists,
as well as
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people
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 who are thinking about immigration, may face fewer problems than before.
People
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 have easy access to everything they need;
thus
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, it is easy for them to get used to life in other countries, which can not only improve their standard of living
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 bring peace of mind.
Moreover
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, these
people
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 do not need to spend significant amounts of money to find alternatives to the
products
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 they
used
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use
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. An example is the USA, where an overage of product variety allows
people
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 from different countries of the world to live
from
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in
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 both Asia and Europe.
On the other hand
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, the main disadvantage is that the transportation of goods from one country to another can lead to environmental problems.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that most vehicles, ships and
airplanes
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aeroplanes
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 consume fossil fuels, which emit exhaust gases, releasing carbon dioxide.
According to
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 research, if governments do not apply hard international laws banning
such
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 trends, global warming and the loss of endangered species will rise, and extreme weather events will become more common. In general, from my point of view, the availability of
products
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 around the world may seem advantageous under certain facts .
However
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, the negative impacts associated with damage to the environment and wildlife habitats outweigh the positive ones.

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task achievement
Try to further elaborate on how the availability of products globally specifically helps tourists and immigrants adapt, perhaps with more detailed examples beyond just 'the USA.' Mention some types of products or situations where this accessibility proves beneficial.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a good logical structure; however, refining transitions between ideas could enhance the flow. For instance, using transitional phrases or sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to smoothly connect them to the previous ones would create a more cohesive essay.
task achievement
While your essay discusses the environmental impacts of global product transportation, you can improve your argument with more detailed examples or statistics. This will make your essay more convincing and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing your views well. This provides a solid framework, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of global product availability, which demonstrates critical thinking and thorough exploration of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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